My Better Half

Don't go changing, to try and please me

You never let me down before

Don't imagine you're too familiar

And I don't see you anymore

I would not leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times,

I'll take the bad times

I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion

Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew

What will it take till you believe in me

The way that I believe in you

I said I love you and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

I love you just the way you are

Billy Joel

My husband and I started dating in 1990. Since then, we have been together, loved, fought, almost split up, and made up. We have changed jobs, switched careers, had different homes, and had beautiful children. Amidst all the joyful times, there are times when each of us has wondered, "What was I thinking?" I meet other people, other couples, and sometimes think that I have little in common with my husband. I sometimes think we are just going through the motions. I wonder if there is such thing as soul mates, and wonder if he is mine and I am his. There are periods of time when we barely see each other. I come home from a late day at the hospital, coming home just in time for him to leave for work to teach his night class. Or other nights when we are both tired, and just trying to get the kids fed and bathed, get homework done, and spend some quality time with them before it is time to get to bed. Although we intend to spend time together after the kids are asleep, one of us often zonks out on the couch or falls asleep with the kids (usually me).

But then the real reality sets in, and I see what a treasure my husband is. I count my blessings, pray to God and thank Him for bringing such a wonderful man into my life, and pray further that he doesn't leave me. Over the last 17 years, he has put himself through graduate school while working full time, as well as seen me through undergraduate, graduate, and medical school, not to mention residency. We have supported each other through so much. He has held me when I cried after friends have disappointed me. He has encouraged me through my losses and failures. His face has beamed with each of my wins and accomplishments. Then there are the children - oh the children. They adore him. And why not? He takes such good care of them -he feeds them, bathes them, clothes them, teaches them, nurtures them, and has such great fun with them. Although he and I sometimes feel like two ships passing in the night, we always manage to find those brief moments when we chuckle at something, something only the two of us would get. Or those times when I think of a funny story that I want to tell him because only he can appreciate my strange sense of humor. Or ponder what to choose on the menu, thinking, "WWHS (What Would Husband Say)?" He just has to give me a look, and I know what he is thinking. We finish each other's sentences. As we are listening to someone else talk, or watching a news story, or reading the same sign, he already knows what I am thinking, and I, he. Can I truly deny that this man, this wonderful man, is my soul mate? If I believed in soul mates, then no, I cannot. But I don't. Simply put, I think we just hit it off. Then, we grew closer over the years. Our lives have become so intertwined that it is difficult to imagine life without him. And though we have changed, and are different people than we were when we first met, there is no doubt in my mind that who I am in my core is extremely compatible with who he is at his core. And I love him just the way he is.