Long Lost Friends

Hello, my long lost friends! Wow it's been a long time! I apologize for not writing. I have no good excuse, except that I am too much of a perfectionist to post anything other than a well-thought out piece. But I am over that. So here is a post with rather random thoughts during this sleepless night. I can't sleep so I thought it was time to get back to writing and releasing some of the many of thoughts that have been occupying my mind over the last few months. It may take several posts; would that entice any of my long-lost readers? If there is anyone left after my long hiatus . . .

Last week was a fun one. Thanksgiving with family friends, my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, then, finally my 20 year high school reunion. It was an exhausting, and fun-filled weekend, but one that has left me very pensive, and possibly over thinking things.

I like to think that I am a confident, mature, responsible woman - a mom, a wife, a caretaker. But when I "went back to high school," aka attended my high school reunion, I regressed into an insecure little girl who needs validation from others. I dragged my poor husband to this event because deep down I needed him to draw my confidence from him. Crazy, huh?



It was really great to see everyone at the reunion. We all got along great and had a great time -dancing and drinking, reminiscing, and swapping parenting stories. There is nothing like catching up with the people who knew me way back then, before the callousing, and the maturing occurred. The friends I made back then were made during a phase of my life when I was open with my feelings. Many of us fell right into comfortable banter and conversation, but a more mature version. Making new friends now is challenging, for me anyway. Yes, I still make new friends, but it's not the same. I have developed a shell, and rarely leave myself vulnerable to criticism or disapproval or anything else like that. When I was younger, I told my friends my thoughts, my feelings, about everyone and everything. Now, I just try to be the the best version of me that I can.


But in the end I realize that I have been able to make new friends - new friendships with old friends. Many of us have withstood many hardships over the years -poor health, failed relationships and marriages, losses of loved ones, financial and career problems. Yet, when we reconvene like we did last week, we revert back to who we are deep down, but a wiser, more experienced version of ourselves. In my case, a more patient, understanding, confident, and grateful, less egocentric version of myself. My friends are still kind, loyal, supportive, and caring, but with new lives -new relationships, new experiences, new outlooks on life. And when I met up with these lovely people again -Voila- new friendships are born.

I feel very luck to have all my friends- old and new, and renewed! Blessings to all of you!